Trying to Improve

I like the word "improve" because any amount of progress forward is considered an "improvement" and worthy of celebration. So there are many things I want to "improve" in my life. I guess I'm in a listing mood, or maybe I'm just not in the mood to write a lot of prose. Who knows. We'll try this prose-style for a while.

I want to improve the rate at which I blog. I thing it would be a really good way to keep a record of what I'm doing at this point in my life. Last night at Silas and Krista's wedding I was talking with a group of people just five years older than me. All of them were in the working world and advised me to stay in college as long as I could. "The real world sucks," they said. Yes, the real world does suck. But the real world has so much beauty about it as well. I can't reconcile just labeling the entire world as "sucking" when I can glean so much joy from it and it brings me so much happiness.

I want to improve my faith life. I remember back to my early high school years (admittedly not that long ago) when I was incredibly involved with my youth group--the same group that introduced me to Invisible Children, actually. I remember that feeling of community and friendship, almost family. I wish I had something like that on my college campus to run to when things get incredibly stressful or mundane or a combination of the two. Unfortunately, I've decided for many reasons that I dislike the Catholic Church and want to try and find my own way with religious preference. That means that I do nothing about it because I try and keep myself busy enough that I don't have time to go "faith hunting" or whatever term best fits here. I may be a master multi-tasker, but I cannot truly talk to just anyone about God, Jesus, meditation, prayer, etc. while simultaneously writing a paper or reading a textbook. I wish I had more willpower to pursue this. I feel a coffee date is necessary for something like religious discussion, but it can't be with just anyone.

I felt the need to get back into some sort of religion (although I have my reservations about organized religion) during The Rescue, as listed in my previous post. It started the morning of the Thursday before, when I went into the living room to see what Trigg needed from me and I happened to see his study bible on the floor, out from the night before. I never had a study bible, but my cousins did and I remember I loved paging through them. Maybe religion for me is more of a nostalgia inducer. Regardless, it was furthered by Tyler Jones from Nashville. I was enamoured by his personality, and he spoke of how God was doing great things with all The Rescue attendees and riders. Then in Wichita I chose to take part in a prayer circle--something I used to love. It was a bit awkward and unfamiliar, but not necessarily bad. I felt more hypocritical than anything. Everyone a part of that circle was so humbling in their unshaking faith; I didn't feel like I belonged, but I wanted to.

Chicago was even more humbling. So many people standing together singing about love, crying with joy, laughing with tears in their eyes...it reminded me of that church experience I used to have on retreats and sometimes during masses. I don't want to be a part of the Catholic Church necessarily, but I do want that religious community of sorts--or at least someone to talk to about my personal faith. I have to figure out what that is first, though.

I want to improve my health. I'm a fairly unhealthy person, and I'm comfortable with that. I no longer want to be comfortable with my poor eating and exercise habits, since health plays a role in absolutely every other part of life. I'm fairly high energy, but I need to use that to better myself so I can better serve others. I just don't think I have the motivation and self-discipline to be healthy on my own. I need the buddy system; now to find a buddy...

I want to improve my wardrobe. Perhaps this is a bit superficial, but it's true all the same. I consider myself a pretty introverted person, but I wish I could be more of an extrovert. A lot of the time I simply feel out of place in my uniform of a t-shirt and jeans; usually that's because I AM out of place. Too bad I hate shopping...but I've been working on this one for a few days now, and we're going to say goodbye to all those t-shirts that I have been wearing for years. T-shirt quilt #2 is in the works.

I want to improve my self-education. I love learning, and then acting upon that knowledge, but I feel as if I don't give myself enough chance to truly look into things that interest me. I need to read more into politics, for sure. Finances as well.

I may not be able to improve all these in the near future, but I'll start working on them now