A penny for my thoughts

If I had a penny for every thought I have over the course of a year, a month, a week, maybe even a day or an hour I could probably donate all that money to Invisible Children and single-handedly win the schools for schools competition. I think a lot.

Last night, driving from St. Louis back to Columbia in bumper-to-bumper traffic for 3 and a half hours, I thought about a whole slew of things including temperatures in various parts of the world, the likelihood that the fish in the bowl in my lap would survive the remainder of the trip, wondering what Jon was listening to on his iPod in the backseat, etc. Most importantly, I thought about Ben.

I remember when Ben and I would spend hours together in his basement, reading lyrics, playing music, writing songs that would probably never go anywhere. It was simple and it was heartfelt and it was fun. Now Ben wants nothing to do with St. Louis and so he refuses to come in town. That hurts. I understand that it is no personal slight towards me, but I can't get past that when he talks so exclusively: "i hate it there", "there's nothing worth coming in town for", "all my friends are up here."

What am I worth, then? Am I going to see Ben again? I don't have the answers, as much as I wish I did.

On another note, I've been weaseling my way into this Roadie position for weeks now and I'm not about to stop. Christmas list 2008: video camera, TOMS shoes, Beedle the Bard (yes I have not grown out of my Harry Potter phase), and IC apparel. How does this help you may ask? I now have a high-quality way of recording my time on the road, the shoes that give back, reading material for the most epic road trip of my life, and clothes that not only represent my organization and my cause but also help to pay for the schools and supplies of children in Northern Uganda.

I have been waiting for so long to do this--four years in fact--and am eternally grateful to Lauren Bazan, Rebecca Willis, Patrick Campbell, and Eugene Kim for encouraging me to apply and get moving! Working with this organization has done so much for me already and I can truly never repay them...but I want to try.

I've become president of a student organization my freshman year of college; I've spoken in front of 14 classes at my high school and organized how those would be carried out; I've kept in contact with people all over the United States simply by being a creeper on Facebook and letting them know I'm with IC; I've built a network of people at Mizzou that are about as dedicated as I am to this cause; I've been exposed to some of the untold horrors of the world; I've been given the opportunity to correct some of them; I've been able to plan out my future better becaues I do so based on what I believe most strongly in; I've learned patience, though it is still difficult.

I want to work with Invisible Children--to dedicate my life to a cause